


The Weekend The World Didn't End

by amyfortuna



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Food Sex, Kissing, M/M, Sappy, Sweet, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-11
Updated: 2009-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-06 04:00:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately before the events of Children of Earth, Jack and Ianto share a quiet, almost ordinary weekend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weekend The World Didn't End

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for unadulterated, possibly OOC and OTT sappiness and 'relationship porn'. Also, there is sex which involves food. And let me just warn again about the mountains of sap involved in this fic. I'm so ashamed. *hides face* RTD, this is what you make me do! *shakes fist*
> 
> Spoilers: This takes place immediately before Children of Earth and so involves spoilers for COE: Day One. I don't recommend reading it unless you've watched all of COE, though.

“Ianto Jones!” Jack shouted across the Hub from the door of his office. “Come here, I want you.”

“I love it when he gets demanding,” Ianto said for Gwen’s benefit as he moved away from the computer, leaving Gwen to catalogue the few remaining bits of alien kit the Rift had spat out that week.

Gwen laughed. “It’s Friday, go on, you two. I’ll finish up in no time, and then we can all head off for a nice quiet weekend.”

Ianto turned on her, sputtering “Don’t say that!” at the same time as Jack said, “I heard that, you’ve done it now! We can fully expect the world to end on Saturday night.”

Finished, Gwen locked the samples away and gathered her handbag. “I’m more worried about your shenanigans breaking all the furniture in the Hub!” she said to both of them. “I can take aliens, no problem, but I can’t face IKEA again this month!”

“She does have a point, Jack,” Ianto said, walking up the stairs to Jack’s office.

“She does,” Jack said. “Which is why I’m asking you out tonight.”

Gwen was walking to the door, but turned to wave. “Have fun, you two – somewhere else for a change!” she said.

“Have a good weekend with your lovely Rhys,” Jack called. The door clanged behind Gwen and he turned to Ianto. “So what do you say? You, me, and a nice little Greek place I know, yeah?”

“Well,” Ianto said, “I did have some Battlestar Galactica stored up on the Tivo. It’s really good.”

“I’m really good, baby,” Jack said, putting his arms around Ianto’s waist. “I’ll redefine ‘really good’ over and over again this weekend and feed you grapes while you watch your show, deal?”

“Mmm,” Ianto said. “But the grapes have to be green and organic.”

“I’ll go to the Moons of Dacine in the year 5075 and bring you back rainbow-coloured grapes that taste like the definition of beautiful,” Jack said, pulling Ianto closer.

“No need,” Ianto answered with a smile. “I already have something that tastes like the definition of beautiful,” and kissed Jack.

“So that was a yes, darling?” Jack insisted.

Ianto dropped his head to Jack’s shoulder and sighed. “Yes. That was a yes, darling.”

—-

Dinner was as Greek and as delicious as anyone could have hoped and a slightly drunk Ianto had an arm around Jack’s waist as they walked toward his flat.

“I think I forgot to make the bed this morning, Jack,” Ianto said, trying to remember where he’d put his keys as they approached the door.

“Shock! Horror! I’m going to see Ianto’s unmade bed! I can face down the Horbutybuttok of Sanbibide, but this is a terror beyond my imagination!” Jack said, leaning against the wall next to the door while Ianto struggled to find the right key.

“Shut up,” Ianto said, glaring but amused. “You take me out, you wine me and dine me, get me all defenceless, and then you mock me when I open up about my true soul’s agony!”

They glared at each other for an instant, then Ianto burst out laughing. “I can’t even keep a straight face for that,” he said, finally finding the right key. He slid it into the door, then turned to Jack. “Are you prepared for the horror that lurks within?”

Jack pushed away from the wall. “As long as you also lurk within, sexy, I can face any nightmare,” and followed Ianto into the house.

Ianto headed straight for the kitchen after hanging his jacket on the coat rack, flipping light switches along the way, and poured two glasses of water from a carafe in the fridge. Handing Jack one, he made his way over to the couch in the dimly-lit living room, and sat down with a sigh. Jack settled down on the couch as well, having taken off his coat in the entranceway.

“Long day,” he said at last. “Long week, month, really.”

Ianto took a drink of water and set the glass down on the coffee table in front of the couch, then slid down until his head was in Jack’s lap. “Not enough time. There’s never enough time.”

Setting his own glass down, Jack smoothed Ianto’s forehead with cool fingers. “Well, we are ridiculously understaffed. You should speak to your boss about that.”

“Not his fault,” Ianto said. “There’s somewhat of a recruitment problem in the investigate-aliens-and-then-die-violently career path, even in a recession.”

‘Besides," Jack said. "It has to be the right person. A very special person. We can’t just drag people in off the street."

“I could put an ad on monster.com,” Ianto said. “Nobody could complain there wasn’t truth in advertising if they were hired through that site.”

“I’ve been thinking of setting up a Torchwood Twitter account. Just think – 140 characters of alien interaction. Vague enough to hint, detailed enough to tease.”

“No Twitter,” Ianto said. “I know how those things work, you start off intending to only post pithy lines of wit containing exactly 140 characters and before you know it you find yourself telling the entire internet that you need a piss.”

“We’re probably best with the old-fashioned ways anyway – hook ’em at a funeral, break ’em out of prison, or best of all, wait for them to come to you.” Jack smiled and kissed Ianto on the forehead.

They stayed silent for a few minutes, Jack idly running his fingers through Ianto’s hair, Ianto looking out the window at the stars, just visible from his prone position on the couch.

“Don’t you ever want to run away, Jack?” he said at last. “Just head for the stars, just get off this planet? I mean, you know what it’s like out there and still you stay.”

“Sometimes,” Jack said. “But you’re here.” He brushed a gentle finger down Ianto’s face.

“Take me with you if you go?” Ianto twisted a little, making sure to look up at Jack.

“I wouldn’t go without you,” Jack said, and bent down to kiss Ianto, a long sweet kiss, not passion so much as tenderness. Once it broke there was a long pause as Jack resumed playing with Ianto’s hair, then Ianto yawned.

“You’re exhausted, gorgeous,” Jack said. “We should go to bed.”

“If you’d like to face the horror that is my unmade bed,” Ianto said, sitting up on the couch and offering Jack a hand, “let’s go.”

So they went. Jack made ridiculous terrified faces when Ianto switched the bedroom light on, and Ianto turned, laughing, and kissed them away. Somehow they got their clothes removed and tumbled onto the bed, kissing, their hands all over each other. The sex was quick and uncomplicated, just Jack’s hands on both of them as he knelt between Ianto’s legs. Ianto moaned endearments he’d never say outside this room.

It was over all too soon, Jack falling onto the bed next to Ianto, Ianto grabbing a small towel from the table next to the bed and tossing it over. Jack wiped his hands and let the towel fall, gathering Ianto in close to him.

“Love you,” Ianto muttered sleepily, curling into Jack.

“Love you too,” Jack murmured back, very softly.

——-

Ianto woke up to find Jack already awake, propped up on an elbow, regarding him with a faint smile. “Morning, sweetheart,” Jack said, kissing Ianto softly on the corner of his mouth.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Ianto responded. “What time is it anyway?”

“Almost ten,” Jack said, looking over Ianto’s shoulder at the clock. “Why, do you have somewhere to be?”

“Not urgently, but there’s a hungry Myfanwy waiting for her brekkie, weekend or not. We should go feed her.”

“Mmm, one thing first,” Jack said, and leaned in to kiss Ianto.

Kissing turned into lazy morning sex and it was over an hour later before they got out of the flat and up to the Plass. Myfanwy greeted them with a cry of hungry welcome. While she devoured her food, Ianto checked her over to make sure she was okay.

“Remember when she got out a few weeks ago and captured those sheep?” Ianto said to Jack as he came down his office steps. “She’s got some weird spots under her wings that are new. I’m a bit concerned that she might have some sort of fungal infection.”

“Oh great,” Jack said. “That means we need to quarantine her in a holding cell. And that means we need to capture her.”

“It’s your lucky day!” Ianto said. “Your lucky pterodactyl-catching day.”

“Fuck you, Jones,” Jack said, taking off his coat and preparing a syringe.

“That a promise, Harkness?” Ianto said, grinning.

“It’s a guarantee,” Jack responded and leaped onto Myfanwy’s back, jabbing her swiftly with the syringe.

Fortunately Myfanwy went down without much of a struggle and Jack escaped without even dying once. Together they got her down to a holding cell , laid her on a table and began examining her.

“Yeah, dark brown spots here, and here, and here,” Ianto said. “That’s fungus if I ever saw it. I’ve got some stuff they make for lizards and I bloody well hope it works on her.”

“She’ll have to stay down here for the duration,” Jack said. “She’s not getting her fungus all over the Hub. Remember last time?”

“That was deeply unpleasant.” Ianto pulled out another syringe. “This should take care of her, but we’ve got to treat the walls and everything with antifungals as well, just in case.”

“Gwen’ll have a fit, it’s going to make the place smell like a hospital for weeks.”

“We can wait until Monday, tell her before we do it?”

“Agreed,” Jack said. “Now, if we’re quite finished here, I believe you have some television to watch.”

“Demanding schedule,” Ianto said. “Although I believe I was promised grapes, fed to me by someone enticing and delicious. Or perhaps it was the grapes that were meant to be enticing and delicious, I’m not sure.”

“Cap’n Jack Harkness, reporting for grape duty, and both enticing and delicious,” Jack said, faking a salute. They locked up and left, stopping at the nearby Sainsbury’s for grapes, and a few other ‘essentials’ that Jack wouldn’t let Ianto see.

——

Back at home and after showering, but not bothering to get dressed again beyond underwear, Ianto and Jack curled up on the couch, Jack’s head in Ianto’s lap this time, while Ianto watched his show and Jack dutifully fed him grape after grape. By the end of the hour Ianto was licking Jack’s fingers and palm slowly, removing all traces of sticky grape juice, while Jack moaned and laughed by turns.

“Mmm, come here, you,” Jack said as Ianto turned the television off. Ianto let himself be tugged down for a kiss and then they rearranged themselves so that Ianto was lying on the couch underneath Jack. They kissed and cuddled for a long time, lazy slow kisses and caresses. Outside it was beginning to rain hard, the patter of the rain on the roof blocking out all the sounds of traffic until it felt like they were shut in together in a tiny world of their own.

“When was the last time we had a weekend without any alien threat whatsoever?” Ianto said at one point, noticing that the clock on the wall said 16:45.

“Hmm, never?” Jack said. “So what you’re telling me is that we’re due one any second? But there’s literally nothing on any radar – everything’s quiet.”

“That itself seems ominous, don’t you think?” Ianto said.

“Ianto Jones, you’re not going to go and borrow a cup of trouble just as we’re having a pleasant afternoon, are you?”

“Nope,” Ianto said. “Just pointing it out. You’re the boss.” He kissed Jack quickly and moved to sit up. “Am I right – you bought strawberries and whipped cream?”

Jack looked guilty. “Yes. The strawberries are fantastic this year and -” Ianto shut him up with another quick kiss.

“Are they for sexual purposes?”

“Of course!” Jack said.

“Oh, you bastard, you know all my weaknesses,” Ianto said, grinning. “You get the strawberries prepared, I’ll lay down some towels.”

“Don’t forget to get out the rope,” Jack said as they stood up. “Do you want the strawberries whole or in halves?”

“Halves is fine – we can save some for later,” Ianto said.

——-

Twenty minutes later, Jack was tied spread-eagle to the posts of Ianto’s bed, and Ianto was decorating him with strawberries and cream like he was a work of art. His erection bobbed as Ianto sprayed whipped cream around the base of his cock and upward to the tip. He couldn’t resist taking a little lick of the cream, making Jack moan.

“I’ll be right back,” Ianto said, leaving the room. Jack relaxed into the bonds and smiled to himself as he heard the microwave running from the kitchen.

“I still had some from last time,” Ianto said, displaying a small pot of melted chocolate. Jack squirmed a little.

The chocolate was warm but not overly hot and decorated Jack’s nipples enticingly when painted on. Ianto could hardly wait for them to cool before he was gently biting and sucking them, chocolate smeared across Jack’s chest. Ianto took a cool strawberry then, applying it to Jack’s nipple. He let out a strangled groan at the cold touch of it just before it disappeared into Ianto’s mouth. Ianto kissed him then, tasting of mingled chocolate, strawberry and cream.

Ianto took as much time and even more obvious pleasure in destroying his work of art as he’d done in creating it. Jack was squirming, whimpering softly by the Ianto had licked up all the cream and had his cock in his mouth, alternating sucking vigourously with licking at the tip like it was an ice cream cone.

“Ianto!” Jack cried, toes curling, and came, straining at the ropes. Ianto, with a cat-that-got-the-cream look on his face, moved up to lay beside Jack, loosening the ropes as he did so. Jack immediately turned and kissed him, a hand on his cock.

“Come for me, beautiful, I really want you to come for me,” Jack whispered, then moved to kneel between Ianto’s legs and proceeded to blow him straight to heaven.

——

After that, they lay together on the bed for some time, on their sides facing each other, hands just gently caressing or embracing now and then, slowly. It was some time before either spoke. The silence seemed almost too intimate and lovely to break.

“I’m a bit worried about something,” Ianto said at last. “I’m going to have to tell my sister about us at some point, and I have no idea how to do it.”

“Why, do you think she’s one of those weird what-do-you-call-thems? Homophones?” Jack asked.

Ianto smiled. "You mean homophobes and I don’t think so, at least I hope not, but her husband is. I think she’s going to find it strange that I’m sleeping with someone from work, more likely. But more than that, what do I do? Come out as gay? I’m not gay. I’m – I don’t quite know what I am."

“Then don’t label it,” Jack said. “Just be who you are.”

“Thing about living in the 21st century, Jack, if you don’t label yourself, other people are all too happy to do it for you.”

Jack pulled Ianto closer. “Other people can go to hell. It’s you and me in this room and no one else’s business.”

Ianto nodded and they were silent again for a long time.

“We should actually have something proper to eat,” Jack said at some point.

“Pizza, chippy, or Chinese, I don’t care, as long as they deliver,” Ianto answered, yawning.

“Figure we can just do the typical get it from whatever brochure was last shoved through your mail slot,” Jack said.

“Yeah,” Ianto said.

It turned out to be a place called “Pizza Hot 4 U” and after Jack finished laughing at the name, he called and ordered. The pizza arrived almost exactly 30 minutes later, and Ianto and Jack settled down to watch Jason Statham kicking arse and taking names on Film4.

Once the film was over and the pizza consumed, Jack stood up and walked to the window, looking out at a clear, rain-washed, moonlit sky. “You’re right, it’s really quiet,” he said. “Too quiet.”

“We can go for a drive, see if there are any Weevils to capture?” Ianto said from his position on the couch.

* * *

Not even a Weevil was stirring. They tuned into the police bands and listened for anything that sounded even remotely alien, but it was all so normal and mundane as to be almost boring.

“Do you remember the hitchhiker we found awhile back?” Jack said eventually, racking his brains for something to do.

“Yeah, the one we picked up on a scan of Miss Thompson after she died?”

“That one, yeah. Do you think we could widen the search band and sweep the city for any more of those?”

“We could tomorrow, sure,” Ianto said, turning the car back around and heading for his flat.

“Ah, I see, my lovely Ianto needs his beauty sleep,” Jack teased, ruffling Ianto’s hair.

“We don’t all have the luck to be immortal and not need much sleep,” Ianto retorted, turning left.

“You forgot ‘stunningly handsome’,” Jack said in an injured tone.

Ianto glanced at Jack and suppressed a smirk. “Oh, so you get ‘stunningly handsome’ and I just get ‘lovely’?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Okay. You’re stunning, too. There are stars in your eyes and you piss glitter and shit rainbows. Happy?”

“Fuck off, you bastard,” Ianto said, amused and turning into his parking space.

“Just so you know, my parents were legally partnered, so even if there had been laws about bastards on the books at my birth, I couldn’t have been one.” Jack and Ianto got out of the car, and Ianto clicked the remote to lock it. “They were functionally monogamous, too. It was considered really weird and unnatural.”

“So by the standards of the 51st century, your parents were perverts?”

“Not exactly perverts, just eccentric. I don’t think I could do it myself.”

Ianto looked away for a second, but quickly responded, cheerfully if not entirely sincerely, “I’ve done it, but I’m not sure I want to again, you’re right.” Then they were entering the flat and the topic was dropped.

——

Late the next morning, Ianto woke to find Jack in the living room on the computer, looking through news sites.

 

“Still nothing,” he said. “I spoke to Gwen earlier – she’s had a quiet weekend too. I’ve even contacted Glasgow, but I just got back a load of gibberish, which is typical.”

“Shall we get on to that search band, then?” Ianto said, pulling on underwear.

“Yeah,” Jack said, then, standing up, “Hey, come here.” They kissed briefly, Ianto’s arms sliding around Jack’s waist. “Make me some coffee, you stunning creature.”

“Aye, sir,” Ianto responded with a grin, and headed off to the kitchen to do exactly that.

Two cups of coffee, some fruit, and a shower later, they were sitting together with Torchwood laptops and one of the handheld scanning devices as Ianto started the scan from the window of his flat.

“Nothing from here. We’re going to have to do all the neighbourhoods in Cardiff from the car, aren’t we?”

“It has a range of a mile, but if we haven’t pointed it in the right direction, we wouldn’t see the bastards.” Ianto shut the scanner off. “We should probably wait until evening. It would be too conspicuous to take this out in daylight.”

“We’ll have to find some way to occupy the time until then,” Jack said, sliding over next to Ianto.

“Whatever shall we do?” Ianto smiled and turned toward Jack for a quick kiss. Jack let the closed laptop fall to his side and kissed Ianto deeply, pulling him close.

The mood went from playful to desperate inside seconds as they couldn't take the time to be slow and relaxed, not this time. This time they just wanted each other. Somehow they found themselves in the bedroom again, Ianto pushing Jack up against the wall next to the door to kiss him again.

"In me, in me, please," Ianto begged. Jack didn't hesitate in obliging, grabbing the lube from the bedside table as Ianto got to his hands and knees on the bed. It was the work of a few touches to prepare Ianto, then Jack was inside him and they were both breathless with the feel of it.

"God, love, you feel so good," Ianto caught himself groaning, totally overwhelmed. Jack didn't reply in words, just nipped lightly at Ianto's shoulder, driving deep into him. A quick fumble later and Jack's hand was on him, stroking his cock, and Ianto knew he was never going to last.

"That's it,"Jack whispered in his ear, low and dirty. "You're so beautiful like this."

Ianto couldn't stop the thought that Jack really wasn't helping with his stamina, but somehow he didn't come, not just yet. With Jack inside him, and Jack's hand on him, expertly stroking him, it seemed impossible not to, but somehow he lasted until Jack's breath started coming in faster grasps and Jack's hand faltered on his cock as he began get lost in his own orgasm.

Then Ianto couldn't hold back and let out a wordless cry as he came, going boneless almost instantly. They fell together to the bed, Jack somehow managing to fall to Ianto's side, pulling out along the way. Ianto had the familiar impossible desire to keep Jack inside him always, but could only express it with a groan.

They lay there, breathless and wordless, for several minutes or hours. Finally Jack moved enough to be able to take Ianto into his arms and hold him there, occasionally licking and kissing whatever part of him was available.

* * *

About midnight, Ianto and Jack carried the scanning device and laptop out to the car along with a few other necessary bits of kits, mounting the scanner on the dashboard.

"You drive, I'll scan," Jack said, and they began a long night of driving through Cardiff, scanning, getting an occasional bleep on the screen that turned out to be nothing.

Just after the first light of dawn, the scanner let out an alarm. "Where's that from?" Ianto said, stopping at a red light.

"Just ahead, about four houses down," Jack said, typing frantically on the laptop. "Just pulling up the address information now – it's a Mr James Williams, age 86, living at this house."

Ianto drew to a stop outside the house, and together they went to the front door, Jack carrying the scanner. A light was on in the living room. Peering through the curtains, Jack could see the slumped body of an old man on the floor.

"Ianto, master key, now!" he said, and they both rushed in the house as quickly as Ianto could get the door unlocked.

"Shit," Ianto breathed. "Is he dead?"

The man stirred very slightly, hardly breathing. "Not yet, apparently," Jack said. "Let's go, nearest hospital!"

So they carried Mr Williams off to St Helen's Hospital, where he died, and they removed the hitchhiker with the help of a laser scalpel and Tupperware.

As they sped away from the hospital toward Ianto's flat, Jack disconnected the hand-held scanner from the car's dashboard, putting it into the glove compartment.

"So, here's the plan. We'll park the car near the Bay, then go back to yours and get a couple hours' sleep. Should take Dr Patanjali an hour at least to track the car down. He'll be down at the Bay before nine o'clock, we'll send Gwen out to do the honours."

"We need a doctor," Ianto said, thoughtfully. "I still like the idea of just putting an ad on monster.com."

"Sometimes you gotta improvise," Jack said. "Hey, let's get home and see if we both fit in your shower."

"You know we both fit in my shower," Ianto said with a smile. "You've never called my flat home before."

Jack went red and shrugged, then turned on the radio. "…home is where the heart is…" Came softly out of the speakers and Jack covered his face with his hands.

"Damn psychic station," he said. "Should really do something about that, they're Rift-powered, you know."

Ianto said nothing, just wore a smile that couldn't be stopped, all the way home.


End file.
